Anais Nin Quote

"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live." Anais Nin

"A life undocumented is a life unlived."

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

I'm Not Ready

Some of us go through life in a series of I’m-not-ready moments. “I’m not ready to grow up.” “I’m not ready to leave my friends.” “I’m not ready to get married.” “I’m not ready for my kids to grow up.” “I’m not ready for a relationship.” “I’m not ready to quit.”

Relatively speaking, my life has gone through a series of those I’m-not-ready moments the past year. That feeling of initial panic following the thought, “I’m not ready…”, has almost become a familiar friend. Life has a way of barreling forward whether you want it to or not. Whether you’re ready to or not. But I didn’t feel ready.

Last night, I was driving to the hospital to visit a friend and I saw the moonrise. A massive piece of golden cheese thrust in cosmic shadow with the exception of a perfectly formed yellow crescent. The sunlight reflecting off of that side of the moon was the same sunlight reflecting somewhere on the other side of the globe, welcoming a new day of “I’m-not-ready” for some while also welcoming a new day of “I’ll-help-you-through” for others. It reminded me that I’m not alone in this world. Someone, somewhere, is going through the same thing I’m going through, the same emotions, the same fear. But we also share something else – friends who are willing to help us through. Friends who will do whatever it takes to make sure we’re okay.

Suddenly I felt a little more ready.   

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